I was convinced...

Theory is convenient. Words are easy.
Philosophy is easy and so are expectations.

It’s the living-up-to, that is so darn hard.
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I want to want it as badly as I did yesterday.
In despair I watch the sands run through my fingers.
Can’t bring myself to label it fleeting.
This sense of betrayal, I don't know what to make of it.
I am both, the victim and the inflictor.